Postpartumness pt. 3

Growing cutie!

Just had my 6 week check up with the OBGYN and saw my primary doc 2 weeks ago.  The fun never ends when it comes to my health issues.

Primary doc was sooo happy that I finally had a baby! I’ve seen him since I was 12.  He knows my parents very well.  When I first starting having fertility problems, he was there ordering labs and tests and helping to get to the bottom of it. When I suffered from postpartum depression after the loss of my twins, he ordered the “get happy pills.”  When my RE said I had a thyroid issue and wouldn’t do the IUI until it was fixed, this doc gave me my prescription to fix it.  I gave him a birth announcement and a hug for being so helpful. Turns out he has a new grandson as well! I told him about my postpartum preeclampsia/pulmonary edema episode and he ordered follow up labs as well as keeping me on my meds to stay normal.  Labs came back fine, except for maybe a UTI, culture pending.

My GYN appointment was with Dr. P, who delivered MeMe.  My new problem of the month: Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding.  I have had my period for over 2 weeks and it’s not stopping.  The lochia stuff stopped after 3 weeks and then my period started at 4 weeks after delivery.  Here I am at almost 7 weeks and I’m just continuously bleeding and bleeding and bleeding.  IT REALLY SUCKS!  Apparently, the mini pill that I’m taking for contraception is doing it’s job too well.  It’s made my uterine lining too unstable, but not only that, I can’t really get my groove on with all this bleeding going on so there is a 100% chance of not getting pregnant, any time soon ha ha. I have some options and I was just soo pissed that I always seem to have some kind of problem or end up in that small percentage of people that gets screwed. I have some options:

• Stop the mini pill, get an IUD
• Stop the mini pill, use condoms
• Stop the mini pill and switch to the combination pills, but no more breastfeeding
• Or maybe the bleeding will stop on its own and I can stay on the mini pill

Crap!  I loved pumping and giving MeMe the boob juice because I know it’s best for her.    I hate to have to give that up now. I just feel so guilty to stop the boob juice.  But the main thing is that she is here and is healthy.  She’ll be fine on formula alone.  What I don’t want is to become anemic from all this damn bleeding or have a uterus too jacked up to have any more babies. I’ve given myself until Monday to see if the bleeding stops. Then switch to the combo pill.   

Another thing, boy did my vagina muscles contract back up.  Doesn’t even seem like I popped out a baby a few weeks ago.  The speculum was awful!  She had to use the little one to do my pelvic exam.   I’m a born-again virgin.  Eek! I didn’t like being one the first time around.

Just started getting on the treadmill.  These pounds need to come off.

Other things on my mind other than my uterus and cooch is going back to work.  I have this packet of skills to review. I also realized how cool it would be to review cardiac rhythm strips so I found an awesome website that runs a strip and explains what it is or you can quiz yourself.  Just needed to refresh my memory.  I haven’t had to do that since April. I really need to get back to work, staying around the house all the time has lost its coolness.  I need to use my brain like it’s been trained to do.  I need to have random conversations with coworkers and laugh and bitch about our husbands.  I need to show off pictures of MeMe and talk about babies growing up fast. 

I will miss being with MeMe, but mom and I have currently been sharing baby care duties.    Mom will watch for a few hours and then hand her back to me. So when I go to work, it won’t be like I feel like I’m leaving her for the first time.

Still waiting out our time in escrow. I really hate how all information is funnelled through my husb and then he forwards me the emails whenever he feels like it.  He swears that I stress or fixate on certain things or freak out when its not necessary, which isn’t true.  I’m a practical realist, he’s a dreamer.  He’s thinks “everything is fine”  and that stuff should happen on his terms, but when shit needs to be done and there’s no time to playing power games.  The loan officer wanted some info back on Thursday and he still hasn’t given it to her.  He’ll just wait till Monday.  Why wait, he could’ve done it on Friday at the latest.  If escrow doesn’t close on time, it’s his fault.

Summer with Dom pt. 3

Just survived another week with Dom.  Last Monday (7/20), he came that evening and the peace between me and husb ended after only 24 hrs. 

The guest room is converted into Dom’s room when he’s here. So as soon as Auntie left, I stripped the bed, changed the linen, moved Dom’s toys into a position where he can find them and put his learning computer on the desk. Oops, I forgot to put Dom’s clothes back in the drawers.  They were sitting in a box to make room for Auntie.  I did put another dresser out for MeMe, put some of the clothes that “A” gave me in it, and rearranged some of the other stuff for the baby.  But the fact is…I forgot about Dom.  No I didn’t, I set the room up for him;he can put his own clothes away.  He’s old enough and definitely knows how to fold-n-stuff.  Husb says I’m too jumpy about the baby.  Pardon me for being excited about MY OWN BABY!  Dom has plenty of attention.

Husb is thinking that this is his last week with us until school starts. Okay so what.  He’ll be here on the weekends.  It’s not like he’s going away forever.  Our only focus should be on him at all times.  Yeah right.  I was more pissed that he was actually upset that I was excited about doing something for the baby.  What the hell!??! I swear, sometimes….

Wednesday (7/22): We went to Medieval Times in Anaheim as a trio and that was fun.  Got to cheer for the Yellow Knight who won his tourntment games, but he didn’t rescue the Prince from the evil Green Knight.  The Red Knight did that.  Overall, a fun experience.  I highly recommend it! 

The rest of the week consisted of husb planning things with Dom or leaving Dom in my care.  Not much of doing things as a trio.  That bothers me.  The only other thing we did as a trio was play Dominoes together.  We kinda used it as a math lesson. 

By Friday, husb said he wanted to give me my back rub for slaving all day to make sure Dom had whatever he needed, was entertained, and cooked dinner. Never happened. He spent all night hanging out and watching t.v. with Dom.  Saturday night, they washed the cars together and husb hurt his back, but still managed to go say hi to a friend that night that he hadn’t seen since he came back from Texas.  Sunday,  husb cooked us breakfast and slept the whole day. I ended up taking Dom shopping with me.  I bought the new Wii Sports Resort.  (Fun games, I like it better than Wii Sports).  Then, I got him some new shoes that are a size too big so he can grow into them. 

I found a bouncer for MeMe and bought it.  If it was up to me, I would’ve put it together to see what it looks like, but husb read my mind and started up with the attitude.  Let me be excited for my baby! 

Does he realize the pain and agony I went through not being able to get pregnant for years.  Or the pain of getting pregnant with twins and having to deliver them too damn early! Or the pain of holding my babies in my arms and letting them go.  That is pain that can’t be easily erased.  I hated having Dom around during that postpartum time simply because he was alive and loved his mother.  I didn’t get close to anyone’s kids, the pain was too deep.  But husb wanted me to cling to Dom and hoped he would take the pain away.  Nope, doesn’t work that way.  What takes the pain away is feeling MeMe kick and move and hearing her heart with my Doppler.  I’m watching my belly get big showing some stretchies and counting every week that goes by.  I’m not gonna curb my excitement because someone wants me to focus on their kid instead.  You are gravely mistaken mister.

Now it’s 29 weeks. Yay MeMe!  Almost there sweetie!

He went to drop his son off and of course, decided to go hang out at a friend’s house.  No massage tonight.  We really haven’t hung out or spent quality husb/wife time all week.  And he has the nerve to get all pissy about the fact that when MeMe is here, he’s not gonna get any love.  If I get nothing out of this union…

 ”At least I’ll have my daughter.”

Ease on down the road

Husb is now in Texas for a fam reunion and some much needed vacation time. Before he left, we made up and realized we both hurt each other but still love each other deeply. We still haven’t been fully intimate but kissing, hugging, and hand-holding can make up for make up sex.

I wanted him to leave at ease. He did a pretty good job getting to the airport on time and not overly stressed. He is notorius for missing flights. He is safe and hanging out with family he hasn’t seen in years. He’s now in vacation mode and even though he wishes Dom and I were there, this solo trip is giving him peace and tranquility. He only has to worry about when to finally get out of bed and to check in daily. Nice!
Not working is no vacation for me. I want to go on a pre-baby trip at a hotel and casino near here with a spa. Maybe catch a show. That would be nice. I know I need it.

Freakin’ libido!

My husb’s freakin libido is driving me crazy! We can’t bump and grind because of the cerclage and my irritable cervix, so guess what that means…months and months of “kisses”. So I can’t get mine because orgasms are bad for high-risk pregnancies. I had one in my sleep and my uterus hurt like hell, freaked me out! So I have to suppress any urge or desire for that kinda lovin. My husb gets to have all the orgasms he can stand, must be nice. So all that feel-goodness should make him happy right? Hell no, because it’s not me making it happen, selfish bastard! The only thing I ask for to make me feel good is a massage and he keeps putting it off, “I’ll give you one tomorrow”. No massage = no kisses. Fair is fair.

So instead of getting my massage, husb does lots of housecleaning (dishes, laundry, vacuuming) and makes dinner which is great-n-all, but it ain’t my massage so don’t think any kisses are happening. I can do all that house crap on my own. What bothers me most is that my back hurts from carrying all these inflated milk ducts around and its like he’s just wondering when his next orgasm will be. At this point, I should hire a whore just to get him to leave me alone and a male maid to cook/clean plus give me my massages. Freakin’ libido!