1st OB appointment, met with NP instead.
Ultrasound showed 20.4 mm baby measuring 8w4d with heartbeat in 170’s. YAY!
Next appointment 4/6/09, referral now being made to the perinatologist.
Thank you God.
8 weeks of fun
So now I’m 8 weeks and feeling the nausea and indigestion with an order of vomiting. Yuck, vomiting makes my diaphragm hurt. And that 3 hour window to eat is no joke. Lil’ bit is not gonna wait 4 or 5 hours for food, 3 is it! If I don’t have something in my mouth ready to chew, the nausea is unbearable and then starts the running to the bathroom. I’ve been getting nauseous at work too. So when I get busy but notice that it’s been awhile since I ate something, I just take a eating break. I don’t care if my patient is doing backflips over the bed, I need food when I need it. I was eating gummy bears and noticed that its about the same size as the baby. Kinda cute! Baby is a hungry bear!
I’m not sleeping well and I think it’s affecting my work. I get frustrated more easily and exhausted by the time I come home. I even come into work looking tired and people keep asking me if I’m okay. Do I look like shit or something? Is there a sign on my forehead that says “something is different?” I snapped at my husb the other day because he couldn’t understand how I have so many days off and spend all my time in bed, but I’m not sleeping, then tried to give me suggestions. I’m not hearing you dude! If this is how its gonna be when lil’ bit is born, I’ll be well trained.
I’ve also noticed that the death of the twins has greatly affected my relations at work. I don’t socialize as much at all and I realized that the people I was cool with last year, I don’t even really talk to. It’s like they haven’t experienced any kind of loss and life is a bowl of cherries all the time. I experienced a lot of death last year and they don’t understand the sadness. I think I’m just stressing over my appointment today and the fact being pregnant after a loss is nerve-wrecking. You want this pregnancy to continue, but you’re terrified that it won’t and almost brace yourself for that scenario. Then, you get excited that you’ve reached a milestone, only to realize that there are a million more milestones to go. One chick at work at work is maybe a few weeks ahead of me and is telling everyone she is two months pregnant. Then another chick is pregnant and every other word out of her mouth is “I’m pregnant” or talking about her toddler. I hate how they’re so sure that nothing will go wrong. Of all the known pregnancies that have occured at work, mine was the only one that failed. What are the odds? The younger chicks can’t even imagine what I went through, but some of the older ladies had their own stories of m/c, stillbirths and triumphs. One lady told me how she never got to have kids because she wasted her child-bearing years with a bad husband. Damn, that sucks. I think people thought I would pregnant right away after the twins and noticed that I haven’t so maybe there’s a problem. Then talking about pregnancies around me is like walking on egg-shells. Kiss my ass people. Maybe I should transfer to another unit.
Just found out my husb’s other baby-mama is preg. with a girl and will probably deliver in May or so. She’s married with 2 boys (including 6 y.o. Dom) plus a stepson. Lucky bitch…
7 weeks of growing!
So my appointment on Tuesday showed a single viable 9mm intrauterine pregnancy with a rapid heartbeat measuring 6w5d when I was 6w6d according to when I had my IUI. Unfortunately I don’t know the exact rate, but it was at least 2 beats per second so about 120+. Me and my mother went to this appointment and we were both too happy to actually count! My lil’ bit is growing on schedule and my official due date (even though I already knew) is Oct. 14. That is 6 days after our 4 year wedding anniversary. So so so so thankful and happy to see this miracle, especially since the last ultrasounds showed an empty womb. Now it’s full of life and hope with God’s blessings. I am praying to continue forward. I try to remind myself that my best egg and my husb. best swimmers made this baby so quit doubting! Husb. was sad he missed this appt. due to a scheduling conflict, but he’s all about the next few with Dr. M.
Symptoms:
Indigestion, heartburn, burps, constipation, and nausea kicked in full force the day before the U/S so my old sleeping habits are now done. Gone are the days of being lazy on my days off and just sleeping for hours straight (change had to come!). Gotta wake up every 2-3 hours because of the heartburn/nausea. Eating can be a chore and not eating is a nightmare. Haven’t thrown up yet but sooner or later, it’s coming. My mom said she really couldn’t eat much during either of her pregnancies. She was hyperemetic for 9 months. Great to hear. My GI symptoms are the most pronounced, but nothing ginger ale or sprite can’t help.
Boobs, boobs and more boobs! With super sore nips. I was already DD, but damn this is getting out of control. Even Dr. M. was like “you’re gonna need to get measured.” So today I’ll go shopping and buy an new game for my DS and a some kind of super bra. Husb. loves the boobs but commented that they were much much bigger. The tenderness is a turn off for me so of course the sex drive is down.
Brown spotting stopped 2/12, the day of my appt. with Dr. M. I came home expecting gunk after my PAP and found nothing. So I was oozing for like 10 days. I stopped using the applicator (pusher-man) for the suppository and just used my hand and placed it about 2 inches in. No matter what, it will melt and get absorbed, so why scratch up my poor cervix in the process.
Stretching uterus, lil’ bit’s reminders that he/she needs more room. I feel ya.
Looking ahead:
I officially graduated from the fertility center, gave the NP and MA hugs and walked away with baby’s first picture in hand. I plan on telling folks at work like at 11 weeks or so. Keeping this secret is hard….I was at work after the U/S happy as can be and couldn’t share my joy. I just feel more comfortable not telling them.
Whenever someone is preg. all people talk about are babies and what their pregnancies were like. Ever since the twins, I don’t engage in those conversations unless it’s super obvious that they’re pregnant and they are waddling around the unit trying to do patient care. Then it’s like “why the hell are you still working?’ I realized that once that cerclage is placed and the baby is on lock down, I really don’t want to work. I’m entitled to 4 months of pregnancy disability leave and 3 months of FMLA, but I think management cuts baby bonding to 6 weeks or something if you want to keep your benefits or to get paid. They can kiss my ass on that one. I’m gonna bond with my baby as long as I want and cut my hours at work. After 4 months of PDL starting at like 13/14 weeks, I would be like 29 weeks when that ends. Then that still leaves 11 weeks until my due date. High risk is high risk damn it! My job is not worth losing the baby or going into preterm labor. I worked the night before my water broke last time when I wasn’t feeling that good to go to work. I wanted to call in sick, but I didn’t. I regret that. My husb. doesn’t want me working either. But I just realized a coworker had breast cancer and left work in May ‘08, she didn’t come back until Jan and still kept her position. She beat it with surgery, chemo and radiation and she looks great! So I don’t see it being a problem. I’ll lose my benefits, but I’m covered under my husb.
Anyway, I’ve been researching and looking into how the cerclage is placed and what to expect. I’m nervous and will be the closer we get to it. But once we see the Peri and get an NT scan, then the next step will be the surgery. So one worry at a time. But I’m really glad my risk is lower with a singleton.
Attack of the Food Nazi!
My mother has become obsessed with my eating habits, especially since with the twins I had gained about 20lbs in the first 15 weeks. I was hungry damn it, every 3 hours otherwise I’d get really nauseous and vomit. The twins were relentless and wanted food when they wanted it. But I did eat a lot of microwaveable crap that wasn’t the best or the healthiest. This time, I can go up to 6 hours without getting the queasies and I’ve been snacking on fruit, not Doritos. Husb. could care less about the weight I put on since it’s for a good cause, but mom is busting my chops every chance she gets. She even wanted me to make a food planner for my day with her. Doing too much and too early. 1 more week to go for the u/s.
It’s all good…
On 2/10/09, Beta # 3 = 1138. Doubling time 1.4 days (34 hours). AWESOME kiddo!
Finally met Dr. M today and she is super cool. We had a nice long discussion about my obstetrical history and that I want this pregnancy to have a successful outcome. She took her time which is great, plus my mom works with her @ our hospital in postpartum.
So what’s the game plan?!
-keep the meds going (metformin and levoxyl) + suppositories (yuck)
-referral to an Endocrinologist to watch tsh/t4 levels during pregnancy (checked every trimester)
-referral to Perinatologist for the CERCLAGE, yay! She said they would place it at like 14 weeks, hopefully sooner than that.
-she’ll monitor me closely after cerclage placement and she’ll take it out at 36 weeks.
Sounds good!
She could see the brown discharge today, but she said my cervix is closed and the irritation is consistent with suppository usage so I feel better about that. The spotting has gotten less in the last 24 hours, but we’ll see how that goes. I go back on 3/9/09 for my official OB visit.
2/24/09 is ultrasound day at the fertility center. Ha ha…another two week wait.
Beta #2
Beta #2 = 158
God is good!
Beta #3 on Tuesday. Suppositories still messing me up with the brown/brown-pink spotting especially after placement. Indigestion and sore boobs arrived. Yay!
