A Cerclage Removal Story

9/15/09 – Today was one of the most important days of this pregnancy.  At 36w2d, Dr. G took my stitches out  in the L&D operating room, to be as sterile as possible.  The procedure was scheduled for 10 am (originally 0930) but an emergency walked into the ER and I was bumped to around 12:15p.

Prep: I was not allowed to eat after midnight.  So they starved me for like 12 hours.  However, I did sneak some peanuts and sips of water while at home because the hunger was unbearable.  I checked in at around 0930 after calling the floor to see when to come in.  Because of my dehydration  and stronger contractions, they gave me an IV fluid and a shot of Terbutaline sub-q (ouch, that stings!) to quiet my uterus for the procedure.  I was also given IV Ancef as a precautionary antibiotic. We saw MeMe on a bedside ultrasound just to make sure she was doing well and got hooked up to the baby/uterus monitor. We sat and watched the “Newborn Channel” and answered some health history questions before it my time to go to the OR.  My mom and husb were with me.  Some of my mom’s coworkers were working  and almost all of them had no idea her daughter was pregnant or that she was expecting a grandchild.  The last time I was L&D at my hospital was when my water broke with the twins so mom only wanted to give good news this time. I love having mom with me because she makes sure everything is taken care of.  Husb is equally supportive so its like having two people wait on you hand and foot all day!

Procedure: Signed the consent, of course. Doc said no anesthesia this time and I stupidly refused IV Ativan thinking I could tough it out.  I wished I took it to calm me down because the pain was EXCRUTIATING! I almost jumped off the table and Nurse Annie, who was holding my hand, almost had her fingers broken.  People who say it is “uncomfortable” are barely touching the surface.  All that cervical manipulating, the hard speculum, and the manual check for leftover stitch material is NOT COOL. Gotta remember, nothing large or wide has been in my cooch for months so the muscles in there were not happy to be messed with.  I was tense and needed to be coached to breathe from Annie.  All in all, it took about 10-15 minutes to make sure both stitches were out.

Aftermath: My cervix did the unexpected.  Dilated a fingertip and 50% effaced.  MeMe is high, not even engaged.  I also have some bacteria growing up in there so I have to put Metrogel in my cooch for the next 5 days.  Ladies with cerclages are more prone to BV because of the increase in secretions caused by the cerclage. Go figure.  I should expect some bleeding, but having seen any yet. I finally got to eat after the procedure. We stayed in the hospital and was monitored for about 2.5 hours.  For a while, my contractions seemed stronger and had gotten to be about 5 minutes apart, but then subsided, spread apart, and felt like normal.  Annie sent me home with my prescription and said to call or come back if my water breaks, stronger contractions…etc. Typical labor stuff.

These are what the stitches looked like, but I didn’t get to take a picture of my actual stitches. Looked just like little pieces of blue wire with huge knots. I can see why Dr. S said husb would cut himself if he got close to those things. Ouch.

Placing bets: Husb’s hor0scope said he’ll get great news on Friday, today is Tuesday.  Mom still says by her birthday (9/24).  A says by next week.  Dr G would like MeMe to stay until at least 37 weeks (9/20) but won’t stop her from coming now. We’ll see if these contractions start to make my cervix act right. Next OB visit is on 9/22 at 1150.

I bet my medical chart is exciting reading.  All the things we’ve been through from 1/08 until now.  Everyone is excited and proud we made it this far.  MeMe has a crowd eagerly awaiting her arrival.

Countdown now at 3…

3 more days until snip snip! Super duper YAY! I’m getting excited with everyday that goes by.  I made an executive decision to quit my 17-P shots a little early because I figured the docs aren’t gonna stop me now if I go into labor so why should I be taking the shots to help relax my uterus anymore and delay the inevitable. The shots did their job in preventing me from having really early pre-term labor and from laboring with the stitches in.  They are cutting the stitches in 3 days since they know my body is already gearing up for the big day.

Thank you 17-P, but your job is done and I am eternally grateful. Next on the chopping block is the cerclage.

I was recently thinking of all the things I’ve learned while pregnant that I didn’t know.

• Hyperpigmentation. In certain areas, I have demarcation lines of where my skin got considerably darker.  Even in places that don’t usually see the sun.
• Loose hips.  My hips are sore all the time.  Getting out of bed is a painful.  I feel like I need a bilateral total hip replacement.
• Skin growths, such as skin tags or this tiny little wart on the left side of my nose that was never there before.
• Overwhelming fatigue, even when doing nothing at all.  I have spent many days in bed (such a wonderful luxury to not work) only to pass out watching a great show.  I keep missing the end!
• Too much time on your hands isn’t always a good thing. I had every intention to read and be more knowledgeable regarding work stuff, but I’ve been off for 20 weeks and haven’t looked at anything work related. Baby girl is all that matters.

But still, I am very grateful to God to get this far (35w6d) and the overall experience is a blessing.

I  have a few more little things to add to what I already have and then I can truly kick back and wait.

Awesome Ultrasound, awesome day

Got to see Miss MeMe and my cervix this morning.  She has baby fat and hair! Yay!  The tech didn’t say how much she weighed, but her measurements averaged 33w1d but I am 33w4d based on LMP.  She has consistently measured a few days behind because I ovulated later than the average 14 days rule, so it’s all good.  Due date doesn’t change for a handful of days!   Defintitely still a girl! We got some awesome pictures of her cute little baby face.  The tech let us watch her yawn and stick her tongue out.  We could see her practice breathing and trying to move in her crammed space.  She has plenty of amniotic fluid and the placenta is still good.  My cervix is a comfortable 3 cm, so not too worried there either. 

I think she has my nose, but mom and husb say she’s gonna look like him.  She has his forehead and overall shape of face.  We won’t really know until she comes out.  Either way, she’s my cutie! 

Our stroller/carseat came today and it’s gorgeous!  Husb took it out of the box and we were so giddy, it almost made us late for the appointment.  Playard is in transit, being shipped from Ohio according to the tracking #.  Should be here next week.

We have a date for the Cerclage Removal….drum roll please…….Sept 15th @ 0930.  Super yay!  MeMe’s shackles are coming off and she will be free to leave the premises! So just gotta hang out these next 3 weeks.  Soooo excited! 

The only thing that made the day suck was that it’s sooo freaking hot! I thought my skin was melting!

Another fabulous appointment (32w4d)

Yesterday, I had a pretty good doctor’s appointment with Dr. M’s office.  We had to wait 1.5 hours to be seen because the doc I was  assigned to was stuck doing an emergency C-section.  They were going to reschedule me for another day, but husb was pushy and insisted I be seen since I was “high-risk.”  So they managed to squeeze me in.  I told him not to act like that when I’m hospitalized! But I gotta hand it to him, he gets results.

My bp was good, mostly because I told the MA to give me a second to let my heart rate go down.  Belly is measuring on target and my urine was fine. Up 3 pounds in 2 weeks.  Been lazy and hungry! 

Doc wants me to get a US to check my cervical length and see how MeMe is growing.  Fantastic!  I haven’t seen her in 4 weeks! Then we asked about the Cerclage Removal and we found out it will be on L&D  at my hospital since it’s more sterile and I can be monitored for contractions. They will call me with the date that it will be scheduled but I should expect sometime after Sept 14th (36w1d).  Yay! Hopefully I’ll dilate right away and only have like a week or two until labor starts.  Mom thinks and dreamed that I’ll deliver on her birthday, Sept 24th.  Another Libra in the house!

We got some info on local pediatricians and the form to pre-register for the hospital. The new doc trained with Dr. S. way back in the day and she was pretty sharp on addressing any concerns. We’ll see another doc at my 34 wk appointment.

We also just bought MeMe’s stroller and carseat on +arget.com and it should be delivered to our house sometime next week.  After it arrives, then I’ll get the pack-n-play that she’ll be sleeping in.  It matches the travel system and has music/vibrations to help soothe her. It has a changing station built in, napper, and bassinet along with the playyard on the bottom.  We thought it was pretty cool when we first saw it, but now it’s no longer in the stores and we have to buy it online.  You would think that if it was being discontinued, it should be on sale! It’s a freakin’ clearance item.  Oh well. I just want it here by stitch cutting time.

I’ve been working on the Outdooring Party.  I find it more exciting to figure out.  Everyday I try to discuss it my mom or husb and I think they’re tired of me already! Can’t really plan for the baby anymore since a lot of it is learning on the spot.  So at least now that I have plenty of time, I can start the prep for the party.  I know when MeMe comes and I’ll be focusing on her that the thought of planning and organizing a party will be the last thing on my mind.  Mom and I planned the food and invite list just last night. We’ll have lots of ladies helping on the day of the party.

30 weeks of luck!

MeMe is in her 30’s now. I’m so unbelievably happy to have made it this far. She is a big girl. According to BabyCenter, she should be like 3 pounds. When she moves, she’s rearranging my abdominal organs and stepping on nerves here and there. I can play the touch game with her where I poke her and she moves in response. I’m so amazed!

I got a copy of my prenatal record from the Dr S’s office and learned how truly lucky and blessed we are. Timing is everything! If I hadn’t decided to get the cerclage when I did I definitely would have lost baby girl. My operation notes said that when I was on the table about to get stitched, my cervix had shortened to 1 cm and was starting to open from the bottom. The double cerclage enabled the docs the close my cervix up and add length. Whoa! Absolutely mind-blowing to know that even waiting another day could have cost MeMe her life.

I had no contractions or pain and the only thing I felt was some pressure to the point that I felt like I had to pee every 5 min when I was in the hosp prior to the surgery. True IC indeed. I am very lucky.

My goal is to think more positively from now on. We’ve dodged so many bullets, just like Neo.

29 weeks and switching

My insurance ends today, but I didn’t get my notice until yesterday.  How lame is that?  So I had to call my husb’s insurace company to make them aware so that they don’t act like they don’t have to pay for anything because they think I still have the other insurance.  I found out the specialist is covered and I don’t need authorization to see him since it is a PPO.  But I want to see my regular OB.  Even the lady on the phone asked if I had a doc that will deliver me because the peri won’t do it.  Then I realized, I really need to get back in touch with Dr M.  This is nuts that I’m like almost 10 weeks away from my due date, 7 weeks from stitch cutting and my OB has no idea what’s going on with me.  Just didn’t seem right. So I made an appointment with her for Monday, when I’ll be 30w1d.  I also have to make sure my chart gets to her office.  I’ll put Dr. S on the backburner for now. I figure, my cervix has been pretty stable for months now.  The stitches haven’t fallen out into the toilet,  no bleeding (a sign of cervical changes), no regular contractions, and baby is moving around alot.  If trouble comes, I’ll probably be on total bedrest.

I know I have been very blessed to have not had any more issues since the cerclage surgery and to have had the opportunity to see a peri, but he’s like rain on my parade. He comes in the room all serious with a kinda “so what are we doing today” attitude. I’m just a patient, but I think you should check the baby and my cervix.  Then he’s like, “everything’s okay….for now.  Come in 2 or 3 weeks, whatever you’re comfortable with.” It’s up to me because it’s like he doesn’t care either way.   He’s nothing like my other peri who called me “darling” every time he saw me and was just an dynamic character.  His bedside manner was unbelievable.  He made the worst days of my life more bearable. 

Oh Dr S, parting is such sweet sorrow.

No GD for me

My mom and I went to my appointment with Dr S and I’m in the clear for GD. My glucose tolerance test came back at 112. Swwweet! My bp is still good and weight up 5 lbs. I need to quit being so lazy and start walking in the neighborhood. Husb has put on some lbs too so I think we’ll walk together. I’m surprised my bp is so great. I am prone to higher pressures especially when stressed. With pcos I know the risks for preeclampsia and GD are high. So I keep thinking I’m gonna get it. So far so good.

My cervix is closed and 3 cm long. Stitches are still in place and doing their job.

MeMe has a big ol’ head and she’s still head down. No cute profile shot this time and her legs were crossed. I asked the doc if she was growing okay and he said she looked fine but ordered another ultrasound at the fetal care center to more accurately check her growth. Do I really need that? I doubt it. I’m still on the fence about the U/S. Plus my HMO at work is going to cut off in a week because it lasts for 12 weeks if you aren’t actively working.

I’m covered under husb’s PPO, but it won’t kick in until I get the letter saying my HMO kicked me off. I don’t know if the PPO will cover the specialized care anymore without reauthorization blah blah blah. If not, plan is to stop seeing the peri, no U/S, and go back to Dr M until I give birth. I would rather have her as my doc anyway. Her bedside manner is awesome!

We’ll see. Next appt should be at 30 weeks.

Symptoms: insomnia, fatigue, shortness of breath with stairs, hunger, big baby movements, indigestion, random uterine tighting.

28 weeks of Triumph

28 weeks and MeMe is still on lockdown. I am now firmly into my 3rd Trimester. Fantastic!  It’s been 12 weeks since the surgery. I have 8 more weeks until the cerclage can be cut.

I see Dr S on Thursday 7/23 and hopefully that will be the last peri visit.

Husb comes back this evening, so even though he’s mine for the night, Dom is staying with us this week. Joy. I hope we all can just get along.

Next milestone is Super-preemie viability at 32 weeks.

Time to do some more shopping!

Pissed Ice Queen

I’m pissed at my husb.  He’s pissed at me.  It’s the story of our lives right now. We had a fight last night, for like 4 hours of him bitching about how I’m an Ice Queen. 

I don’t show him any “love” and don’t even want to try.   He claims that we love spending time together and have no problem there but it’s the bedroom that is lacking. In order to feel love and appreciated, he needs that.  The doctors said no sex since I was 9 weeks due to bleeding.  He hit my cervix and it bled.  Then I had the surgery to stitch my cervix closed since I almost lost the baby so no more sex.  The appt with Dr S when I was 21 weeks, husb asked if we could do it now, doc said ”there is a risk for infection and the stitches are sharp, you might get hurt.”  Husb still wanted to try.  You dumb ass, I’m not risking this baby for your man-needs!  So he backed off.  He still wanted “kisses” without giving me my back rub and I refused, trying to show him that if I’m not gonna get some love too, then forget it.  Why does it have to be about what he wants. 

He says to compromise.  I’m not compromising the health of my baby.  I’m don’t want to risk getting an infection, going into preterm labor, and being forced to deliver this baby now.  She’ll be on a ventilator with IV lines and feeding tubes. He says she’s viable, things will work out.  What the hell?!  I sometimes wonder if he even cares whether or not we have a child together. He says “if it wasn’t meant to be, then it wasn’t meant to be.”  That kind of attitude, get’s NO LOVE.

He says he’s been with me through all my depression caused by infertility and the miscarriages.  That he’s been supportive, more like telling me I need to chill out and that I’m crazy.  He’s been patient with this process and feels like he’s not getting any of the love back.  Excuse me, who was there through all the crap with Dom and his bio-mom, who was there to help him with a lot of other shit that he was stressing out about.   He got what he wanted, his son.  Now I want my daughter.  I have been stressing out about this pregnancy from the beginning and he thinks an orgasm is what I need to feel better.  WHAT I NEED is my daughter to be born healthy and alive.  WHAT I NEED is a husb that understands that if I say I want a massage to make me feel better, then that’s what I should get instead of having to fight over the fact that I’m limiting myself since the doc never said I couldn’t get some “kisses” of my own.  I don’t want “kisses” because I don’t want contractions!  He thinks that’s why the shots are done to keep away the contractions. But orgasmic contractions can’t be stopped!

He keeps making it about what he thinks is best.  I should just listen to him.  He won’t steer me wrong.  Yeah, right.  If I end up in the hospital and they ask what happened, like a dumb ass, I’ll have to say we did x-y-z which was against doctor’s orders. No way.  I’ll listen and make my own conclusion.  I’m not gonna follow someone that doesn’t really know about how the body works. He’s so willing to take chances it’s scary. Too scary.

I have no desire to do anything sexual, but he keeps insisting I do it for him.  What he’s suggesting, I won’t mention, but I am so against and completely repulsed by the thought.  But if I do it for him then at least he’ll be happy.  NO. I may be a bad wife for not compromising, but I’ll be damned if I do something that I really don’t want to do to. It’s like him saying it would really make him happy if I jumped off a bridge and I don’t mean bungee style.  Should I do it because he’ll be happy? We all do things we don’t want to do to please our mates, but come on!  There has to be a limit. I have done enough compromising during this fertility process. I’ve compromised my feeling of womanhood my pride, and my sense of normalcy! I have to deal with watching his child grow up and wondering if I’ll ever have my own.

We’re so close to having this baby, I’m 26w3d along. Why change something if it’s working.  The regimen that I’m on now is working fine, why introduce new and possibly problematic things?!

He’s leaving tomorrow for his 10 day trip.  Counseling would be good when he comes back.

Micro-preemie Viability

Miss MeMe is now 24w0d! A super awesome achievement! We wouldn’t have made it this far without the help of the cerclage and 17P shots, which started 8 weeks ago.

But as great as this milestone is, MeMe needs to keep baking. Micro-preemies are so fragile; that’s a hard life for a baby. I don’t fear my water breaking so much, but I do fear infection, placental abruption or cord entanglement. She can stay home and kick me all she wants. I love my MeMe!

Next milestone is Tiny-preemie Viability at 28 weeks. You can do it lil mama!