Super sad today, it has been 2 weeks since we lost our twins (born/died at 16 weeks on 1/9/08) and it’s still killing me. The memory of the events of that day haunt me every once in a while and I keep thinking about how I’m supposed to explain it to people (like I really care what they think). My kids meant the world to me. It took 2 years to make them and 4 months to grow them healthy, then lose them simply because my OB was busy and didn’t look at my cervix on the ultrasound. Grrrr!!!! Anyway, I have decided to memorialize the pregnancy as well as the babies. Angeline and Augustin, I’ll love you forever, sweeties!
Pregnancy memories:
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Lots of hormone shots for like 2 weeks in my belly
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Lots of ultrasounds and lab draws (my poor veins)
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Lots of trips to fertility center (24 miles each way)
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Stayed in a hotel to have IUI done
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The horrible 2 week wait and bought a plant to occupy my time
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Felt lightheaded while cooking before I found out + or -
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Totally excited that IUI worked and found out on voicemail!
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Called and told all close friends and family about the pregnancy
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Got the best sleep ever for first 3 weeks, yucky suppositories
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First baby pics at 6 weeks with 2 heartbeats (TWINS)
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Next baby pics at 7 weeks, looking good
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Had to wait until 10 weeks to see OB/gyn, grrr! (Babies looked good)
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Nausea and vomiting started around 8 weeks – must eat every 3 hours!
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Super hungry!
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Nausea got better at 12 weeks and now really feeling good
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Holidays and birthday with no alcohol! Best birthday ever!
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Treated like a superstar at work (hey everyone, she’s having twins!)
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15 weeks check up was rushed since MD running late, noticed BP going up and UTI (belly hurt after I went to pee)
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Clothes didn’t fit, time for new wardrobe and went on shopping spree
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Noticed some pink spots before work, but not too much
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Worked all night with little help, needed to sit down a lot
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Went home tired, woke up from sleep with constant wet underwear
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Worried! Very worried. Waited to see if undies get saturated
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Cooked pork chops with mixed veggies and mashed potatoes
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Slightly wet undies, but felt something coming out – WATER BROKE!
Worst feeling in my life to know I was losing the babies and that I probably couldn’t stop it. But the worst was yet to come and I’m still feeling it.
